Lately, I have been thinking a lot about attack and innocence. I have noticed that floating amid my trepidation of unreliable tenants is an attack impulse that wants to rear its ugly head. So naturally, the reading from our group last night focused on just that. “Unfairness and attack are one mistake, so firmly joined that where one is perceived the other must be seen. You cannot be unfairly treated. The belief you are is but another form of the idea you are deprived by someone not yourself.“ I can’t BE unfairly treated.
Let somehow, over and over, I find myself dealing with this notion that I can be taken advantage of.
Now, I know that “no one can take advantage of you without your permission.” (Thanks, Ann Landers!) Yet, I still find myself wrestling with the whole idea that I have been treated unfairly. Actually, it is more accurate to say that I don’t actually think I am being treated unfairly, I just find myself frustrated by thinking that certain events “should” be going down in some other manner than the way they are happening.
Last night we read, “What does it mean if you perceive attack in certain forms to be unfair to you? It means that there must be some forms in which you think it fair. For otherwise, how could some be evaluated as unfair? Some, then, are given meaning and perceived as sensible. And only some are seen as meaningless. And this denies the fact that all are senseless, equally without a cause or consequence, and cannot have effects of any kind.”
I keep asking myself what kind of mileage I think I am getting out of these sorts of conflicts. There must BE something, for I have had too many (judgment – cancel, cancel!) incidences where I am “too nice;” where it seems I have been taken advantage of. The Course teaches that I cannot be treated unfairly.
“Beware of the temptation to perceive yourself unfairly treated. In this view, you seek to find an innocence that is not Theirs but yours alone, and at the cost of someone else’s guilt. Can innocence be purchased by the giving of your guilt to someone else? And is it innocence that your attack on him attempts to get? Is it not retribution for your own attack upon the Son of God you seek? Is it not safer to believe that you are innocent of this, and victimized despite your innocence? Whatever way the game of guilt is played, there must be loss. Someone must lose his innocence that someone else can take it from him, making it his own.”
It seems that I am somehow attempting to shed my own guilt by making “another” guilty. I am forgetting that we are one and that there is no sin or guilt to be had. Innocence is mine to own but only if I share it. What I do to another, I do to myself.
Thank Heavens, the Course gives direction. It tells us: “If you perceive injustice anywhere, you need but say:
By this do I deny the Presence of the Father and the Son. And I would rather know of Them than see injustice, which Their Presence shines away.”
God is always present The Holy Spirit is always present. If I am truly here to teach only love, than I cannot cling to notions of guilt. I cannot justify attack in any form.
I would rather know God. I would rather recognize His Son.
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.