It is doing ACIM lessons like today’s that illustrate to me how very far I still have to go. Today’s lesson says, God’s Voice speaks to me all through the day. The egoic part of my mind which is illusion, not the real me, the identity I invented so that I could run the show – that part is quite practiced at tuning out the Creator. “The part of your mind in which truth abides is in constant communication with God, whether you are aware of it or not.” Ego, of course, wants to tell me how difficult it is to hear God. Ego wants to say that God has better things to do than talk to me and even if that weren’t true, it wants me to believe I am not skilled enough to be in communication with the Divine.
The truth is that we are connected. God has not abandoned His Son. We are never without guidance. But if we can pretend that it’s difficult, then we can not listen. We can ignore the help that is ours.
The thing that astounds me is why I would want to. The only possible reason for disregarding the Holy Whispers is because I think that somehow God is going to deny me what I want. I’m afraid. So, often, I tune Them out. I act like I’m not skilled enough.
God and I have gone a few rounds on this one. Ego creates untenable situations, spouting fears, distrusting God and then blames Him for saying “Yes” to the miscreations. The important piece to remember here is that when I fail to get what I say I want, it is always because I was afraid I couldn’t really get it (or terrified that I would!). It was the fear that blocked my stated desired, not God. This is the part where I appreciate what my church teaches: that God, the Law, only says “yes.” It judges none of it. It wasn’t that some vindictive God decided I was too unworthy to deserve the good stuff. God is just, not vengeful. (Vengeance is alien to God’s Mind because He knows of justice. To be just is to be fair, and not be vengeful. Fairness and vengeance are impossible, for each one contradicts the other and denies that it is real.)
No. Truth is that I was afraid and so I projected that fear and tried to palm the blame off on God. I denied that I had anything to do with it. (Not my fault!)
Is it just me, of does it seem weird that I simultaneously attempt to usurp God’s power, acting like I have the ability to change God’s Laws while I shirk responsibility for outcomes that I don’t like.
The thing that sometimes messes me up is that I think I need to “try” to hear God’s voice. But it’s not trying that will get me there, it’s allowing. As the Course says, “I need to nothing.”
That section of the Course tells us: “’I need do nothing’ is a statement of allegiance, a truly undivided loyalty. Believe it for just one instant, and you will accomplish more than is given to a century of contemplation, or of struggle against temptation.”
In other words, it is a statement of faith, of trust. Knowing we are always cared for, knowing that even our “mistakes” are purified. “We said before that the Holy Spirit is evaluative, and must be. He sorts out the true from the false in your mind, and teaches you to judge every thought you allow to enter it in the light of what God put there. Whatever is in accord with this light He retains, to strengthen the Kingdom in you. What is partly in accord with it He accepts and purifies. But what is out of accord entirely He rejects by judging against. This is how He keeps the Kingdom perfectly consistent and perfectly unified. Remember, however, that what the Holy Spirit rejects the ego accepts.”
The game is rigged.
Now, remind me again why I ever listen to ego?
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.