“Resistance is Hell, for it places man in a ‘state of torment.” –Florence Scovel Shinn, The Game of Life and How to Play it
After several weeks of being mired in resistance, I have at last come home to God. There is something disheartening about trying to manage things myself, about allowing ego to take the lead. Intellectually, I know better, of course. But “knowing” intellectually Is not “being,” for true knowledge is union with the Divine. If I am experiencing conflict or doubt, then I am clearly listening to ego and not the Holy Spirit. When I resist surrendering to God, I have put myself in hell.
“If God’s Will for you is complete peace and joy, unless you experience only this you must be refusing to acknowledge His Will. His Will does not vacillate, being changeless forever. When you are not at peace it can only be because you do not believe you are in Him. Yet He is All in all. His peace is complete, and you must be included in it.”
I am reading Florence Scovel Shinn’s The Game of Live and How to Play it, (which I downloaded for free yesterday for my kindle). It’s easy reading that is providing lots of inspirational ideas that are helping to reroute my thinking back to a lack of resistance. She says, “So long as man resists a situation, he will have it with him. If he runs away from it, it will run after him.”
It’s the old “what you resist persists” idea.
Yesterday, after weeks of feeling upset about tenants and money, I found myself driving down to see the primary culprit when I really wanted to just go home for the day. To my surprise, we had a very amicable conversation where I provided him with the tools he said he needed to be able to get some assistance. Instead of worrying about how I was going to get screwed, I returned to thinking of God as my source and blessing the household. Somewhere recently I had read that it can be helpful to remember that there is no “my,” that everything belongs to God. They are not “my tenants,” they are “God’s tenants.” It is not “my money,” it is “God’s money.” All the anger and worry I have had fell away and I felt better than I had in weeks. My prayers turned from needing to get specific money from specific people to simply claiming what is divinely mine for the highest and best of all involved.
Last night, I dreamed that I was talking to my boss and she made a derogatory comment about something (I don’t actually recall the specific thing), and in my dream, I knew that it was not true. I turned to her and said something to the effect of there were no ____________ (whatever the slam was) because God was in them, too.
What is not love is fear. Somehow, in giving up my resistance, the fear slipped away and all I was left with was love. It felt amazing.
Yesterday, I discovered that a client who was supposed to be listing her house with me this month had listed it with another Realtor. I emailed her and resisted the temptation to be snarky, even though I was a little upset. To my surprise, after months of ignoring me, she responded. She is supposed to be building a very expensive house with a builder that I introduced her to and I wanted to know if she was still intending to build. She apologized for not listing with me, saying that she was helping out a friend who had just started his own realty company, but yes, that she was still intending to go through me to build this home.
What occurred to me once I discovered she’d listed with someone else was that I had feared she would do just that and so in my own way, I had contributed to that happened. I laughed when I realized it was my own fault. I mean, what if instead of worrying about it, I had been confident that she would list with me???
How often have I pushed away my own best interest out of fear that I wouldn’t get what I wanted?
Today’s review lesson (#89) says, (77) I am entitled to miracles and (78) Let miracles replace all grievances. In my feeble attempts to run the show myself, I have put myself in hell. It is an old pattern where I don’t trust God to give me what I want. The other day, I found myself saying, “I trust God, it’s my brothers I’m not so sure of.” But trusting God is trusting my brothers. Treating others as if they can’t be trusted is a sure ticket into hell. Salvation cannot be experienced within condemnation.
“Harm is impossible for God’s teachers. They can neither harm nor be harmed. Harm is the outcome of judgment. It is the dishonest act that follows a dishonest thought. It is a verdict of guilt upon a brother, and therefore on oneself. It is the end of peace and the denial of learning.”
Scovel Shinn says, “Bless your enemy, and you rob him of his ammunition.”
I do not know what today holds. I don’t know whether my (God’s!) tenants will manage to come current on the rent or not. Scovel Shinn says, “You can control any situation if your first control yourself.” Controlling myself means controlling fear. It means that I refuse to allow ego to hijack my good by indulging in conflict and doubt. I ask only for what God wills for me, knowing that I have no idea what that looks like because I have no idea what God’s plan is for the tenants. I know only that whether or not the money comes through them is inconsequential. “No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.”
Goodbye hell. I’m choosing Heaven today.
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.