Lesson 238: On My Decision

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“The Son of God can make no choice the Holy Spirit cannot employ on his behalf.”

On His Behalf

As I practice these Course in Miracles lessons each day, they almost seem too simple.  Of course, ego does that.  It takes the holy and tries to muck it up with extra.  Ego complicates.  God simplifies.  If they were tax forms, God would be the 1040ez and ego would be the 1040.  I’m in the middle of finishing up my taxes – actually, I have people for that because my taxes are too complicated, so I think along those lines.  Anyway, as I do these daily lessons, I notice how ego always want to plump these up with filler.  I plow through anyway, allowing the imperfection of being human to tag along with me.  I run over the resistance than I know all too well is ego and just get it done.  It’s not always pretty.  It’s not always effective, but I have to believe that it is still forward progress and go from there.

Today’s lesson is simply practicing receiving God’s Love.  Ego wants to tell us we are not good enough, that we don’t do the job well enough – it will say anything to move us off target.  We are being asked to meet God’s gaze.  Think of a lover staring into your eyes – you are being asked not to look away but allow the love to enter.  It’s that.  And yes, it’s hard.  “Not good enough” wants to steal the moment from you.  From me.  From us.  Hell, there’s only one of us here.  Today’s lesson, On my decision all salvation rests, tells us that: And I must be steadfast in holiness as well, that You would give Your Son to me in certainty that he is safe Who still is part of You, and yet is mine, because He is my Self.”

He is my Self.  Jesus is me.  Jesus is you.  We are God’s One Son.  Holy, holy, holy.  More than good enough: perfect, innocent, free.

But we can’t find it is we don’t believe it’s there and we won’t get to that point without a decision.  It’s weird how much of life is decision.  We have free will (even though the game is rigged) but it is still up to us to realize that God is a decision we want.  In Chapter 5 on Healing and Wholeness, the Course says in the section The Decision for God:  

I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me.

We can decide “wrongly” insomuch as we can keep ourselves from Heaven for as long as we choose, but ultimately, we can’t separate ourselves from God, so we can’t NOT end up in Heaven.  We are just learning that we needn’t struggle against the journey so much.  It’s easy.  God is easy. “…The first step in the undoing is to recognize that you actively decided wrongly, but can as actively decide otherwise.”

Today’s lesson, which is just an invitation to allow yourself to accept God’s Love, is this

Lesson 238
On my decision all salvation rests.
Father, Your trust in me has been so great, I must be worthy. You created me, and know me as I am. And yet You placed Your Son’s salvation in my hands, and let it rest on my decision. I must be beloved of You indeed. And I must be steadfast in holiness as well, that You would give Your Son to me in certainty that he is safe Who still is part of You, and yet is mine, because He is my Self.
And so, again today, we pause to think how much our Father loves us. And how dear His Son, created by His Love, remains to Him Whose Love is made complete in him.
© Foundation for Inner Peace • PO Box 598 • Mill Valley, CA 94942-0598

It sounds like a heavy responsibility – the salvation of the world rests on my shoulders?!?!?  But it’s not, because the game is rigged.  The name of game is waking up to who you are.  It’s not about trying hard and become skilled enough to be good enough to get into Heaven.  No, no, no.  You don’t get it.  Heaven is already here.  It’s accepting that.  It’s making the decision for God that allows us to see what is already here.

I, personally, am tired of seeing the world as a fucked up mess.  I want to hear God’s Voice, to follow God’s lead, to answer the call and do what God would have me do.  AND I still recognize daily that I fight that.  I feel confused (always ego); I feel stressed (again ego); I feel “concerned” (a fancy way of saying I’m scared and I don’t trust God).  It doesn’t mean I don’t know act when love needs to be injected into the equation; it just means I don’t concern myself with making the judgment about what is needed.  I allow the Holy Spirit to do that for me.

7 The only judgment involved is the Holy Spirit’s one division into two categories; one of love, and the other the call for love. You cannot safely make this division, for you are much too confused either to recognize love, or to believe that everything else is nothing but a call for love. You are too bound to form, and not to content. What you consider content is not content at all. It is merely form, and nothing else. For you do not respond to what a brother really offers you, but only to the particular perception of his offering by which the ego judges it.”

It’s strange that we are asked not to judge but then look to the Holy Spirit to judge for us.  That’s because He alone is capable of deciding for God. 2 The Holy Spirit does not teach you to judge others, because He does not want you to teach error and learn it yourself. He would hardly be consistent if He allowed you to strengthen what you must learn to avoid. In the mind of the thinker, then, He is judgmental, but only in order to unify the mind so it can perceive without judgment. This enables the mind to teach without judgment, and therefore to learn to be without judgment.”

So today, as I practice allowing myself to feel God’s love, I also remind myself that all decision need to go through the Holy Spirit; that I (as in small self) alone am not capable of judging what is love and what is a call for love.

“Everything you behold without is a judgment of what you beheld within. If it is your judgment it will be wrong, for judgment is not your function. If it is the judgment of the Holy Spirit it will be right, for judgment is His function. You share His function only by judging as He does, reserving no judgment at all for yourself. You will judge against yourself, but He will judge for you.”

It’s good to remember that I do not perceive my own best interest, but the Holy Spirit does.  He is my protector.  You’d think I’d learn to be better at remembering that and turning to Him instead of ego.

Crazy.  No wonder the Course refers to the ideas that we are separate bodies as a “tiny, mad idea.”  But since I still seem to think that I am living a life within this illusion, my go-to is merely to practice calling on the Holy Spirit as often as I can remember to do so.

Namaste, my friends, Namaste.


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