So much of my life seems to be devoted to loving what is. Or at least learning to love what is.
I’m reading The Untethered Soul, by Michael A. Singer. In it he says, “The only permanent solution to your problems is to go inside and let go of the part of you that seems to have so many problems with reality.”
Or as Byron Katie would put, “It hurts when I argue with reality.”
I am human. My first impulse is not always to love what is but to find fault with it. Thirty-some years back, when I was living with my now ex-boyfriend, he pointed out to me that whenever he said black, my first response was always white. If he said up, I said down. I immediately jumped to opposition. My first inclination was never to embrace what was being given to me, it was to find fault with it. No matter how beautiful and spectacular something was, I was never completely happy with it. I always criticized.
Thank you old boyfriend of mine for pointing that out to me, for helping me to cure myself of this unsavory impulse.
How can you love something or someone is all you ever do is zero in on what is wrong?
Eventually, I learned to focus on the good. Since what you focus on expands, it’s what you get more of (Universal Principle 101), it helps to focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.
What I’ve figured out is that the impulse has not gone away entirely, it’s just become much more subtle. Much more.
As Singer says, “It turns out that the life of protecting yourself from your problem becomes a perfect reflection of the problem itself.” Humans are so very clever that rather than eradicate the problem we just concoct elaborate coping mechanisms. In my case, if I may be so bold, I’ve become really expert at creating enough income to survive. I’m not living in abundance. My world is not flush with excess; it still reflects a consciousness of lack rather than abundance. I’m not particularly attached to excess; part of me really enjoys the simplicity of fewer choices and being able to eliminate options that would require lots of money, but I’m definitely noticing that I am not reflecting prosperity consciousness.
Somewhere in there is a belief that is not serving me. Singer says, “But if you choose to keep them without being disturbed by them, you must modify your life to avoid the situations that would stir them up.”
I had not intended to write about abundance or lack or any of that. My intention was to look at the ways that I have been arguing with reality. But since my primary “problems” inevitably are financial in nature, I have somehow been led to look at that. “Real transformation begins when you embrace your problems as agents for growth,” says Singer.
I return to gratitude. I return to spiritual practice. I’ve been neglecting workbook lessons from A Course in Miracles, as I do. I get busy. I revert back to old habits. So this morning, I randomly looked at the lessons and decided to start with lesson 49, God’s Voice speaks to me all through the day. Instead of listening to my own ego-based thoughts, I could listen to the voice for God (the Holy Spirit). Singer suggests that we practice witnessing our thoughts; paying attention to the inner dialogue and noticing that the dialogue is not who we are. We are the ones witnessing that dialogue.
So, if I practice listening to God’s Voice, what do I hear? I’m pretty sure it’s love, not fear. It’s trust, not protection. Personally, I think I have to go by how I feel. I think I have to focusing on loving what is and trusting that it is as it should be. When I’m on track, I always feel high. It’s a feeling I lose the moment I start arguing with what is; the second I think things should be different than they are.
But God does.
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.