Today is one of those days when conflicting goals find me feeling tempted to enter stress-monkey mode. So naturally, because everything is truly in divine right order, today’s Course lesson is “Let me remember what my purpose is.” It is the reminder that I cannot serve two masters simultaneously. It says “No one can serve contradicting goals and serve them well. Nor can he function without deep distress and great depression.”
The temptation is to allow myself to get swept up in the quotidian demands of the world and forget God. “Sorry God! Love you but I have to get to work!” The result is that what I profess as my number one priority gets shoved to the back of the line.
How is this serving me? How can I possibly morph into the person I want to be in this world if I allow myself to get sucked out of my awareness that it’s all God and that thinking it isn’t is illusion.
I feel like the lesson here is learning to prioritize. I feel like I am learning to shed the pull of the demands (that I put on myself BTW!) and breathe into peace. If Life is One and there is no separation then thinking that I somehow have to ditch these demands to be present with God has got to be a fucked up perception. It’s all interconnected. I am just learning to navigate with the mindset that I don’t need a mountaintop and isolation to learn this stuff. In fact, if I am in isolation then I can’t really practice what I have professed to learn.
The isolation is an ego gambit to feign enlightenment via solitude. Solitude may make finding the clarification of goals easier but it theory without practice. Only in the rush of chaos can the contrast of perfect peace be glaringly apparent.
As one of my favorite poems says, “It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear. The one who says nothing good comes of this is not yet listening.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Pay attention. The answers are already here.
Namaste, my friends, Namaste
*This was written on 9/14/18 but not published until 9/17/18