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Lesson 339 – The End of the Dream: Asking for What I Really Want

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Today’s ACIM lesson, #339, I will receive whatever I request, is challenging to believe, because, of course, all of us “seem” to receive things we didn’t consciously realize we were asking for (like the current political environment!).  The Manual for Teachers says, “What you ask for you receive. But this refers to the prayer of the heart, not to the words you use in praying. Sometimes the words and the prayer are contradictory; sometimes they agree. It does not matter. God does not understand words, for they were made by separated minds to keep them in the illusion of separation.”  What I have noticed is that sometimes what I am requesting is embedded in ego and therefore springs from fear.  This lesson is the call to quit doing that, to instead allow God to lead. “Let us resolve today to ask for what we really want, and only this, that we may spend this day in fearlessness, without confusing pain with joy, or fear with love.”

From last year’s writing:

I will receive whatever I request. Lesson 339 ACIM

It seems crazy to think that whatever comes my way is something I asked for, but today’s A Course in Miracles lesson says just that: I will receive whatever I request.  Of course, most of the time, I don’t really remember who I am (the holy Son of God Himself) so it’s hard to ask for what I really want.  Ego, the perpetual victim who specializes in blame and shirking responsibility, claims that no way do I get whatever I ask for.  “Hey!  I asked to win the lottery but I don’t see a million dollars in my bank account.”  “I didn’t ask to lose my job!”  “I didn’t ask to get cancer.”  The egoic mind denies the impossibility of such a statement, claiming that not only did it NOT get what it requested, it got a lot of crap it didn’t want.

Yeah, about that….

Here’s the deal, first off, yes you did.  Not consciously of course, but when there is a hidden agenda, it will get fulfilled.  For example, years ago, when I was sick of the interlock business, I kept saying I was ready to be finished with it.  I didn’t mean immediately but nonetheless, I asked for it.  Just like I inadvertently asked to get pneumonia when I was so over slaving at the tool making shop I worked at, which led to me asking to be laid off, which led to me going to computer school for a year.  My life is filled with examples of things I asked for without realizing I was asking for them.  Hell, I asked for my husband.  He was married to someone else when I met him and although I didn’t have anything to do with the break-up of his marriage (at least not directly), I was there to swoop in and snag him when it happened.  Yes, I definitely asked for him.

But yeah, most of our requests we aren’t really privy to; ego is playing sleight of hand, often perpetuating the victim role .  See, when we are crouched in fear, we are unknowingly asking for what we are afraid of.  Add that to the ego’s hidden agenda and it doesn’t exactly spit out a beautiful life. If you are looking for someone to blame, you will attract those sorts of situations.  If you are seeking an excuse, God will provide.

“4 Only you can deprive yourself of anything. Do not oppose this realization, for it is truly the beginning of the dawn of light. Remember also that the denial of this simple fact takes many forms, and these you must learn to recognize and to oppose steadfastly, without exception. This is a crucial step in the reawakening. The beginning phases of this reversal are often quite painful, for as blame is withdrawn from without, there is a strong tendency to harbor it within. It is difficult at first to realize that this is exactly the same thing, for there is no distinction between within and without.”

But the Holy Spirit purifies everything so know that even in the midst of sorrow, love is present.  But we must choose which voice we want to listen to.

Here’s today lesson:

Lesson 339

I will receive whatever I request.

No one desires pain. But he can think that pain is pleasure. No one would avoid his happiness. But he can think that joy is painful, threatening and dangerous. Everyone will receive what he requests. But he can be confused indeed about the things he wants; the state he would attain. What can he then request that he would want when he receives it? He has asked for what will frighten him, and bring him suffering. Let us resolve today to ask for what we really want, and only this, that we may spend this day in fearlessness, without confusing pain with joy, or fear with love.

Father, this is Your day. It is a day in which I would do nothing by myself, but hear Your Voice in everything I do; requesting only what You offer me, accepting only Thoughts You share with me.

© Foundation for Inner Peace • PO Box 598 • Mill Valley, CA  94942-0598

The crux of the problem is pretty much the same as it always is: we don’t recognize who we are.

“5 If your brothers are part of you and you blame them for your deprivation, you are blaming yourself. And you cannot blame yourself without blaming them. That is why blame must be undone, not seen elsewhere. Lay it to yourself and you cannot know yourself, for only the ego blames at all. Self-blame is therefore ego identification, and as much an ego defense as blaming others. You cannot enter God’s Presence if you attack His Son. When His Son lifts his voice in praise of his Creator, he will hear the Voice for his Father. Yet the Creator cannot be praised without His Son, for their glory is shared and they are glorified together.”

God refuses to be without His Son (that’s us, in case you missed that part).  Actually, He isn’t without His Son.  In the “real world” where time doesn’t exist and we are in Heaven, we are already with God.  Not separate like we dream that we are.  The whole purpose of the Course is to wake up to that fact.  To recognize that no matter what ego tells us, nope, we are not these helpless, small, mean beings we go around pretending to be.

Sometimes I think to myself that the world could be on a very scary/bad trajectory, but when I remember that the game is rigged, it makes me feel better.  I can experience the real world now inside the illusion by waking up, by studying this Course, by accepting the Atonement for myself, by loving my brothers and life.  There are holy instants and these moments are the only real moments there are.  I think of it like a lucid dream, where you suddenly recognize that you are dreaming and thus put yourself in the position to make things happen instead of feeling like a victim.  I am not the victim of the world I see. (Lesson 31). 

13 You are the dreamer of the world of dreams. No other cause it has, nor ever will. Nothing more fearful than an idle dream has terrified God’s Son, and made him think that he has lost his innocence, denied his Father, and made war upon himself. So fearful is the dream, so seeming real, he could not waken to reality without the sweat of terror and a scream of mortal fear, unless a gentler dream preceded his awaking, and allowed his calmer mind to welcome, not to fear, the Voice that calls with love to waken him; a gentler dream, in which his suffering was healed and where his brother was his friend. God willed he waken gently and with joy, and gave him means to waken without fear.”

Studying this Course is the means by which I gently waken.  Sometimes I feel like a slip in and out of allowing the veil to be lifted.  There are moments when I am high on God and blissed out for a few.  But ego is in the background screaming of a breach, frantically trying to help me forget again.  It tells me that I can’t trust the goodness; that I will be hurt and disappointed.

God knows that the only one who ever did that was me, the little me that thought I was this egoic mind.

But the Course soothes, “Little child, you are hiding your head under the cover of the heavy blankets you have laid upon yourself. You are hiding your nightmares in the darkness of your own false certainty, and refusing to open your eyes and look at them.

5 Let us not save nightmares, for they are not fitting offerings for Christ, and so they are not fit gifts for you. Take off the covers and look at what you are afraid of. Only the anticipation will frighten you, for the reality of nothingness cannot be frightening. Let us not delay this, for your dream of hatred will not leave you without help, and Help is here. Learn to be quiet in the midst of turmoil, for quietness is the end of strife and this is the journey to peace. Look straight at every image that rises to delay you, for the goal is inevitable because it is eternal. The goal of love is but your right, and it belongs to you despite your dreams.”

It’s time to wake up.  I am asking to wake up.

Namaste, my friends, Namaste.


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