Today’s ACIM lesson, #334, “Today I claim the gifts forgiveness gives,” is yet another reminder to embrace sinlessness – to see the innocence in one another and let go of judgment. When I wrote this blog post a year ago, I paired the lesson with one of my favorite spiritual practices, by John C. Parkin, “Fuck it.” My apologies to anyone who is offended by such language (but if you are then you probably shouldn’t be hanging out with me). I am of the opinion that God is not offended because I don’t think God gets offended. (“God does not forgive for He has never condemned.”) I believe He/She/It is perhaps amused by our folly although the Course says He doesn’t see our illusions and sent us the Holy Spirit as the bridge from our nonsense back to Heaven. The Manual for Teachers says, “God does not understand words, for they were made by separated minds to keep them in the illusion of separation.” To me, that tells me that God is unaffected by our use of “profanity.”(It is humans that “judge” what constitutes profanity and that line is constantly changing.) “In the Holy Spirit alone lies the awareness of what God cannot know, and what you do not understand. It is His holy function to accept them both, and by removing every element of disagreement, to join them into one. He will do this because it is His function.”
I can’t get all caught up in worrying about it because as a teacher for God, I understand that it is only ego that fears. My job is just to ask the Holy Spirit. (That’s always my job!)
“The Holy Spirit mediates between illusions and the truth. Since He must bridge the gap between reality and dreams, perception leads to knowledge through the grace that God has given Him, to be His gift to everyone who turns to Him for truth. Across the bridge that He provides are dreams all carried to the truth, to be dispelled before the light of knowledge. There are sights and sounds forever laid aside. And where they were perceived before, forgiveness has made possible perception’s tranquil end.”
So, back to forgiveness, we go. From last year’s writing:
So much of studying A Course in Miracles is about learning forgiveness, so it should come as no surprise that the “What is the ego” section emphasizes forgiveness. The route to forgiveness is found via sinlessness, a concept that is particularly vile to the part of mind that is seeking to preserve the illusion of separation. There is however, a practice that satisfies both ego and spirit, one that we sometimes bring up in our Tuesday night group. Sometimes the easiest way to let go is simply to say “Fuck it.” I know for myself, this is especially true when I seem unable to get out of my own way.
I love the Course, I do, and I recognize that the only person forcing me to write each day is me, but some days I get tired of writing about God. I look back over what I’ve written and I wonder who the hell has hijacked my body. Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond grateful for these teachings. But anyone who knows me personally knows I am hardly a proselytizer. Yes, I’m excited about the goodness of God but I am also “a very nice woman with a really filthy mouth” (as my son once described me). Too often when I am writing, I am simply pushing through to get done (which means ego is having its way with me, I realize; welcome to being human). I end up saying, “Fuck it” and falling back to Liz Gilbert’s mantra, “Done is better than good.”
So often when I do these lessons about forgiveness, I think I ‘should’ be focusing on forgiving others, but most of the time it’s me I need to practice with. I no longer have the self-loathing of my youth, but I am so far from perfect, sometimes so far from even halfway good that the only way through is “Fuck it.”
Today’s lesson is “Today I claim the gifts forgiveness gives,” and I still find myself struggling to complete it at dusk when I began at 7:00 this morning. Okay, I admit it. I am still in my pj’s and it’s too late in the day for me to even think about getting dressed.
Today I claim the gifts forgiveness gives.
I will not wait another day to find the treasures that my Father offers me. Illusions are all vain, and dreams are gone even while they are woven out of thoughts that rest on false perceptions. Let me not accept such meager gifts again today. God’s Voice is offering the peace of God to all who hear and choose to follow Him. This is my choice today. And so I go to find the treasures God has given me.
I seek but the eternal. For Your Son can be content with nothing less than this. What, then, can be his solace but what You are offering to his bewildered mind and frightened heart, to give him certainty and bring him peace? Today I would behold my brother sinless. This Your Will for me, for so will I behold my sinlessness.
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When I was in my twenties, I was forever looking at what was “wrong.” One of the greatest gifts my former boyfriend ever gave me was the ability to notice that I had the bad habit of saying “yes but.” Whatever was offered, I had to find what was wrong. Of course, that same boyfriend was very offended by my sometimes liberal use of the f-bomb, particularly if I told him, “fuck you,” which for reasons that still baffle me, he could never comprehend I usually reserved for really close friends and family. I have to love and trust you a lot to risk saying “fuck you.” I have to have faith that we know each other well enough to trust the bonds of our relationship aren’t in jeopardy. (My son understands this perfectly.)
Anyway, I’ve come to appreciate the value of swearing and I am of the opinion that God is not offended. Any good Course student knows that. “God not forgive because He has never condemned.” “Ego remembers everything you have done that has offended it, and seeks retribution of you.” Offense is a quality of ego, not God. To be offended by someone is to believe that they have done something wrong. God sees only innocence. He doesn’t trifle Himself with our illusions.
So I say, “Fuck it.”
And here is a meditation video:
In Course terms, there is this prayer:
I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me.
But honestly, some days, the best spiritual practice I can find is “Fuck it.” Life’s too short not to let yourself off the hook for all the shit you think you should have done but somehow didn’t. If God is not offended by my seeming imperfection, then why should I be?
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.
- Here Comes (U.S.) Thanksgiving: The Unbreakable Link between Gratitude and Joy(challies.com)
- Understanding The Ancient Hawaiian Practice Of Forgiveness(collective-evolution.com)