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What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn't Fail?

Lesson 317: No Matter the Way Appointed Me

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Today’s ACIM lesson #317, I follow in the way appointed me tells me why it was that last year, in the course of doing these lessons, I somehow missed yesterday’s.  Reading this post from last year provides the answer as to why, of course – because my beloved husband was in the hospital and I was fighting to know the truth, desperately denying appearances so that I could have him back.  It is so good to read this post and recognize the perfection of where I was and what I was up to.  These days, my husband is in good health and we laugh with each other daily.  I bless the day some 26 years ago when I had the courage to leave my old boyfriend and follow the way appointed me.  I so love our life together.  I love US together because part of us together means I am free to follow the way appointed me without conflict or fear.

A few days ago, for reasons I can’t explain, I googled my ex-boyfriend’s name plus obituary and discovered that he had passed away last September:  Esophageal cancer.  I felt like I should have been sad, but instead, it just confirmed for me what I had always known, I made the right choice.  I followed in the way appointed me and I did what I am supposed to be doing.  I am rereading  A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson.  It was published in 1992 – the year I got married.  I’d forgotten how brilliant it is.  It is the book that made people interested in A Course in Miracles.  It helped shape the trajectory of so many lives, mine among them.
So here is the story of what was happening in my life a year ago (almost – I was a little behind at the time; it was written on 11/21/16).  It is the story of me following the way appointed me.  It is a love story.  From last year’s writing:<

The Way Appointed Me

The Way Appointed Me

God is wondrous.  In ways I may never quite comprehend, I find myself facing today’s lesson, I follow in the way appointed me, on a day when I am in my husband’s hospital room, standing vigil to ensure he gets the care he needs.  This is not of course what I want to be doing.  I want him home and healthy, laughing and joking and giving me shit about the things he loves to give me shit about.  Instead, I am here, firmly ensconced in knowing the truth about him, knowing that illness is an appearance, knowing that he is not his body.

I am grateful to have just come from teaching Emma Curtis Hopkins.  She was such a great metaphysical teacher/healer and I cannot tell you how many times in the past few hours I have affirmed love and light and health and denied the effects I am witnessing.  (There is no matter; God is omnipresent.  God is intelligence.  God is perfect expression.)  Great healers (think Jesus) were not dissuaded by appearances.

Of course, ego wants to tell me I am a crazy person and what the fuck!

Seriously, Jay.  Do I need you to scare the bejesus out of folks to help me hone my faith?

Yet, I am confident in my practice.  I have to be.  I cannot afford to allow fear to come in and steal my peace.  I cannot allow appearances to suck me in grave imaginings.

This is today’s lesson:

Lesson 317

I follow in the way appointed me.

I have a special place to fill; a role for me alone. Salvation waits until I take this part as what I choose to do. Until I make this choice, I am the slave of time and human destiny. But when I willingly and gladly go the way my Father’s plan appointed me to go, then will I recognize salvation is already here, already given all my brothers and already mine as well.

Father, Your way is what I choose today. Where it would lead me do I choose to go; what it would have me do I choose to do. Your way is certain, and the end secure. The memory of You awaits me there. And all my sorrows end in Your embrace, which You have promised to Your Son, who thought mistakenly that he had wandered from the sure protection of Your loving Arms.

© Foundation for Inner Peace • PO Box 598 • Mill Valley, CA  94942-0598

 

I am being asked to make a choice for God.

This being human is such a messy business.  Yesterday, I was out showing houses when I decided to stop at the grocery store on my way home.  Knowing that tonight is supposed to the final Roots class, I decided I would make green chile chicken enchiladas and I still needed some ingredients.  I got home, brought in the groceries, took off my boots, changed my clothes and put a load of dirty clothes in the washing machine.  Then, before I put the groceries away, I went into the living room where my husband was watching TV (he silenced it when I came upstairs with the food) and gave him shit for not saying anything to me when I called out to him.  He does things like that sometimes, particularly lately, so I wasn’t overly concerned until I found myself begging him to say something and found he wouldn’t utter a word.  He looked very out of it, stoned, though I knew he wasn’t.  I leaned my arms on his knees, something that will usually elicit irritation from him because, with his diabetic nerve pain, it hurts.  Still nothing.  I announced I was calling 911 and told him he was scaring me.  He stretched, like he was tired, but still wouldn’t respond to me, so I made the call.

I was worried that he may have had a stroke.  That didn’t prevent him from taking his shirt off (it was hot in the house when I got home), or showing irritation when I tried to replace the flannel with a t-shirt.

When the paramedics arrived, they checked his blood sugar (427!) and blood pressure and hooked him up to an IV.  He wouldn’t respond to them either.  But sometime during the ambulance ride (I rode my own car so I didn’t witness this), he started to talk and managed to tell the paramedic all his vital information, including why as a diabetic with high blood pressure he wasn’t under his doctor’s care. (“The damned deductible is too high.”)

Sigh.

In and out he floats, sometimes present, mostly not; sometimes communicative; mostly not.

I want to go curl up and hide, but God needs me present.  Father, Your way is what I choose today. Where it would lead me do I choose to go; what it would have me do I choose to do. Your way is certain, and the end secure. The memory of You awaits me there. And all my sorrows end in Your embrace, which You have promised to Your Son, who thought mistakenly that he had wandered from the sure protection of Your loving Arms.”

There is no matter,  only Spirit.  God is perfect health and my husband is an ornery cuss.  Only the love is real.

There is no matter.  There is only Spirit, and I call the perfection of my husband back to me.

He must have heard all the prayers.  It took most of the day, but the man is starting to laugh and joke with me again.  Thank you, God!  Thank you, my friends, for all the prayers.

Namaste, my friends, Namaste.

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