Today’s ACIM lesson, #287, proclaims, You are my goal, my Father. Only You. I catch myself sometimes lately, seeking guilt, worrying about things going the way I think they should and each time I notice this, I know that I have forgotten to allow God to be my goal. I have, however inadvertently, behaved as my own teacher. I have forgotten to question what I think I know. “Yet your willingness to learn of Him depends on your willingness to question everything you learned of yourself, for you who learned amiss should not be your own teacher.” The weird part is that when I give up trying to figure out, when I give up trying to control, then knowing comes by itself. I need only focus on God. From last year’s writing:
My only goal is Heaven, happiness, peace, joy, harmony; ultimately love. The real goal is love, which is an indirect way of saying my only goal is God. When I teach, I often tell my students that I find it helpful to know the qualities of God because it makes it easier for me to distinguish when I have inadvertently listened to ego. The one quality that really makes an impression in this category is clarity. God is perfectly clear. There is no point where God has to stop and “figure things out.” Confusion is of the ego. We were discussing intuition the other day in my Roots class and this is how I distinguish between the voice of the Holy Spirit and that of the ego: clarity. When I know something with perfect clarity without any logical explanation as to why I should know it, that is intuition. I just know it. I don’t need to second guess it. If I’m second guessing, ego has entered the picture.
We humans always want to figure things out. I don’t fault it. There is something immensely satisfying about coming to understand and if I weren’t so inclined myself, I wouldn’t write. I have to practice over and over to wrap my head around what things mean even though in a sense it is impossible to do.
Which was part of our Tuesday night ACIM group discussion last night. I mean, let’s face it, we are there to figure things out and so it’s not unusual for us to bring some personal problem to the group to try to solve. But the best any of us can do, really, is point each other back to the proper Teacher; as in “ask the Holy Spirit.” But first, we must get over thinking that we know anything. “3 You do not know the meaning of anything you perceive. Not one thought you hold is wholly true. The recognition of this is your firm beginning. You are not misguided; you have accepted no guide at all. Instruction in perception is your great need, for you understand nothing. Recognize this but do not accept it, for understanding is your inheritance. Perceptions are learned, and you are not without a Teacher. Yet your willingness to learn of Him depends on your willingness to question everything you learned of yourself, for you who learned amiss should not be your own teacher.”
So, we ask each other because, you know, the habit of seeking the answer outside of ourselves is fairly ingrained. It’s the usual clever ego trick of seeking the answer where it cannot be found! Ha!
Even though we just read this section, we end up going back to what we just read:
“5 You may complain that this course is not sufficiently specific for you to understand and use. Yet perhaps you have not done what it specifically advocates. This is not a course in the play of ideas, but in their practical application. Nothing could be more specific than to be told that if you ask you will receive. The Holy Spirit will answer every specific problem as long as you believe that problems are specific. His answer is both many and one, as long as you believe that the One is many. You may be afraid of His specificity, for fear of what you think it will demand of you. Yet only by asking will you learn that nothing of God demands anything of you. God gives; He does not take. When you refuse to ask, it is because you believe that asking is taking rather than sharing.”
So often, it seems, ego is really just trying to gather allies for its position. It doesn’t really want a solution.
(4 The ego cannot hear the Holy Spirit, but it does believe that part of the mind that made it is against it. It interprets this as a justification for attacking its maker. It believes that the best defense is attack, and wants you to believe it. Unless you do believe it you will not side with it, and the ego feels badly in need of allies, though not of brothers.”)
Always, it comes back to my goal. “2 In any situation in which you are uncertain, the first thing to consider, very simply, is “What do I want to come of this? What is it for?” The clarification of the goal belongs at the beginning, for it is this which will determine the outcome.”
My goal, my only goal, is God. Today’s lesson:
You are my goal, my Father. Only You.
Where would I go but Heaven? What could be a substitute for happiness? What gift could I prefer before the peace of God? What treasure would I seek and find and keep that can compare with my Identity? And would I rather live with fear than love?
You are my goal, my Father. What but You could I desire to have? What way but that which leads to You could I desire to walk? And what except the memory of You could signify to me the end of dreams and futile substitutions for the truth? You are my only goal. Your Son would be as You created him. What way but this could I expect to recognize my Self, and be at one with my Identity?
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Ego, of course, always wants to worry about other people’s goals (it’s a great strategy for distracting us from our own work). We have no idea where anyone is along their path and it is all relative. Jason, last night, likened it to a lotus flower blooming – it’s at whatever stage of opening that it is; wherever it is is perfect for its stage of development. The nonstop complainer may have been a murderer in his past life. Plus there is that little piece about me not knowing what anything is for (I do not know what anything is for) and if my goal is indeed Heaven, why am I worrying my pretty little head over it?
My goal is God. My goal is to teach only love. It is the same goal. “The Holy Spirit will answer every specific problem as long as you believe that problems are specific. His answer is both many and one, as long as you believe that the One is many.”
When I don’t know, the solution is to ask. Ask and ye shall receive. If I am not asking, it must be because I do not want the answer.
Is hell really preferable to Heaven? Choose again. I keep choosing because, at this point, I can’t always seem to remember that I am really only choosing between reality and illusion; for whatever reason, I have been listening to ego and attempting to remain separate.
But the game is rigged. I can’t screw it up. There is nothing I can do to separate myself from God, and the longer I do these lessons, the more I realize what a blessing that is.
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.