A year later and I am STILL trying to remember that it’s just a ride, so don’t take it so damn seriously! I still forget. I still think I am this separate body (the illusion of bodies makes it super-challenging to “see” oneness). But even thought I am still trying to wake up, I am still sucked in by aches and pains and the illusion of sickness and death, I am more peaceful. I am happier. I am less stressed. Today’s ACIM lesson:
This being in a body is the hardest part of waking up. Even knowing we are not our bodies, even knowing that it’s just a temporary shell, doesn’t make it easy. It may be just the vehicle we chose to carry out our humanness in but we still think of it as us: I’m a separate one. You are a different separated one. Our eyes tell us we are not each other. That woman with cancer isn’t me. That guy who murdered that other guy – they are not me. Or so we think.
It’s hard to wrap our minds around. It’s challenging to recognize unity when ego is screaming, “I am not those assholes Trump and Clinton!” “I’m not Isis.” “I’m not Putin.”
Nothing riles us faster than politics where right and wrong seem so apparent. Who’s right and wrong we won’t get into.
The Course goes back to innocence, non-judgment, love. Only the love is real. Nothing real can be threatened.
Obviously, the body can be threatened and that, my friends, is your first clue that it is not real. In Course terms, it is illusion, just as ego is illusion.
I was struggling with my computer yesterday. It seemed to be a day where my modem kept losing my internet connection, my website kept going down; even the church website where I publish our prayers each day was giving me fits. As I messed with my laptop, Jay watched a program (Cyberwar) on this new channel, Viceland and this ad came on:
OMG, they get it. So why are some of their shows so weird????
Turns out it’s from outlaw comedian Bill Hicks:
It’s just a ride.
Meanwhile, the varicose veins in my legs still ache and I’m using a heating pad to keep my hip from hurting. I know I’m not a body and I also know that there is some part of me that is identifying with illusion and not God or the damned blessed thing wouldn’t vex me so.
Okay, first let’s get to today’s lesson:
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
(199) I am not a body. I am free.
I am God’s Son. Be still, my mind, and think a moment
upon this. And then return to earth, without confusion
as to what my Father loves forever as His Son.
I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.
© Foundation for Inner Peace • PO Box 598 • Mill Valley, CA 94942-0598
The reason we resist waking up is because we want to stay on the ride. Ego doesn’t want you to realize what is real and what is illusion and even though we, okay I’ll just speak for myself here (especially since there is really only one of us here, trippy as that is), I resist waking up because I’m afraid I – this individualized expression that seems to be a separate person – I don’t want to disappear.
It’s an autonomy thing – even though the ride sucks sometimes, I’m still not ready to get off; I’m still not ready to relinquish the illusion of separation.
The Course says: “5 Healing is release from the fear of waking and the substitution of the decision to wake. The decision to wake is the reflection of the will to love, since all healing involves replacing fear with love. The Holy Spirit cannot distinguish among degrees of error, for if He taught that one form of sickness is more serious than another, He would be teaching that one error can be more real than another. His function is to distinguish only between the false and the true, replacing the false with the true.”
My “job” as a miracle worker is to just love it all. All of the ride. All of the parts that scare me and make me want to scream and deny that Isis or idiot politicians (oops, judgment!) or any of that crap has anything to do with me. I want to deny global warming and pollution in Rio’s Guanabara Bay and the fact that I can’t imagine such disregard for human life, or for life in any form.
Then I go into overwhelm, because, after all, I’m one person. What can I do?
My part. My part is to listen. My part is to connect with the Holy Spirit within me and take direction. “God will do His part if you will do yours.”
With regard to witnessing sickness, I return to this:
“3 To believe that a Son of God can be sick is to believe that part of God can suffer. Love cannot suffer, because it cannot attack. The remembrance of love therefore brings invulnerability with it. Do not side with sickness in the presence of a Son of God even if he believes in it, for your acceptance of God in him acknowledges the Love of God he has forgotten. Your recognition of him as part of God reminds him of the truth about himself, which he is denying. Would you strengthen his denial of God and thus lose sight of yourself? Or would you remind him of his wholeness and remember your Creator with him?”
God cannot be sick.
Here’s the thing that I go back to again and again: I want to be happy. I want to be in joy. I want to be filled with love and connected to God and to walk around as someone I like being.
And a lot of times, I’m not successful which means I’ve tripped upon parts of myself that still believe in the illusion of separation, that still believe that I can be apart from God, that still need healing. I’ve found parts I still don’t love and accept.
Healing and denying simultaneously are the tricky business, as far as I’m concerned. We are taught to affirm the truth. “I am healthy, whole and complete.”
But, you know, ego tells me that’s a lie, and since I seem to be separate with my own aches and pains, my own trials and tribulations, it’s hard not to get sucked in.
The Course says, “1 Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. If to love oneself is to heal oneself, those who are sick do not love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are denying to themselves. If they knew the truth about themselves they could not be sick. The task of the miracle worker thus becomes to deny the denial of truth. The sick must heal themselves, for the truth is in them. Yet having obscured it, the light in another mind must shine into theirs because that light is theirs.”
Yes, but I have this condition and my leg still hurts. (We/I go back to defense, forgetting that In my defenselessness my safety lies.)
I say the answer is love. How could it be anything else? Only the love is real. The rest, the illusion. The rest is just a ride.
Choose love. (Reminder to self: choose love.)
Namaste, my friends, Namaste.
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