Opening to the Possibility

What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn't Fail?

Lesson 207: Love May Mean Saying You’re Sorry: Run into It

Share the joy

Lesson 207, the perfect lesson for a day when I have grandchildren in the house. From last year’s writing:

Love may mean saying you're sorry

Accept not Suffering

When I was a teenager in the seventies, Love Story was immensely popular and with it came the slogan, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” But I am rethinking that.  While I understand and agree with the sentiment – loves understands, love forgives, love sees past error to innocence – there is also something to be said for humility, for taking responsibility for those errors.   There is something to be said for the willingness to step down from being right and owning the humility of mea culpa.

On the heels of last night’s ACIM group discussion, which seemed to center on relationship and the dance that comes with being married, I spent some of this morning witnessing what it is that Jay and I do.  I’d made breakfast for him and took it in to him (he was sitting at his computer in his office).  A moment later, he was out in the kitchen.  “Do you need salt?” I asked.

“No, there’s crap all over the bottom of my plate and I need to wipe it up.  It’s making a mess all over my desk.”  He was a little irritated.  There was a hint of accusation to the explanation.  The subtext, had I cared to feed it, was “How do you manage to do these things?!?”

“Oh,” I exclaimed.  “I’m happy to see my ploy worked.  I did that on purpose.”  My tone was playful; I was running with it.  I hadn’t been conscious of the mess of course, but for us it’s part of the dance.  He’s conveying information (in sort of a jackass manner) and if I wanted to I could use it to seed bad feelings.  I refuse.   Instead, it is just an opportunity for improv.  The banter begins with me embracing the accusation and pretending the result was my intention.  I am lighthearted about it.  I am running into it.  I am taking what I learned studying hypnosis years back and using it for all it’s worth.

I run into it.

It fits perfectly with today’s lesson.  I bless the world because I bless myself.  It’s how I use those moments. It doesn’t really matter what stance he takes.  My goal is peace.  My objective is love and if I fucked up, I fucked up.  Who cares?  I own it.  I run with it.  You can be upset and angry all you want, husband.  I choose play!

Lesson 207

I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.

(187) I bless the world because I bless myself.

God’s blessing shines upon me from within my heart, 
where He abides. I need but turn to Him, and every sorrow
melts away, as I accept His boundless Love for me.

I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.



© Foundation for Inner Peace • PO Box 598 • Mill Valley, CA  94942-0598

See, this is what I know after all this time (or pretend to know anyway).  My superpower is that I take nothing personally.  Nothing sticks to me.  I am Teflon Woman!  And it is a blessing to me because I don’t have to be upset, or angry, or feel bad.  I made a mess of the bottom of your plate. Thank you!  My evil plot to make you miserable has succeeded.  Ha, ha; I win.

Of course, I don’t give a flying fuck about winning.  I don’t.  If you need to win, you win.  And I win, too, because I don’t have to engage in petty bullshit and I don’t have to feel bad.   I have succeeded at my secret agenda – peace, love, and understand.  Woohoo!

Lately, it seems I get a lot of phone calls from friends (sometimes clients) who need a safe place to vent their frustrations and know they will feel better after talking to me.  It’s not because I make them right.  I don’t side with anyone.  I don’t care about such things; I care about peace.  I care about helping them let go of the stress.  I care about helping them to help themselves not to take themselves so damned seriously.

So, does love mean never having to say you’re sorry?  Well, it might if both of you are far enough down the path to keep from getting all butt-hurt over stupid shit, but if you’re not then sometimes the kindest thing you can do is say you’re sorry.

I’m sorry I made a mess of the bottom of your plate this morning.  Wait a minute.  No, I’m not.  That is part of my evil plot to hand you frustration and see if you will bite.  I succeeded?!  Nice!  I am an evil genius!

Play.  It’s all play.  We can joke about.  We can know that none of it is worth taking seriously, not when my goal is peace.  Not when my purpose is love.

It’s a damned plate, for Christ’s sake.  Get over it!

Yet sometimes, I genuinely fuck up.  I am inconsiderate in front of friends.  I make you look like a fool.  My ego hijacked me and instead of telling the bastard to shut up, I open my mouth, and heinousness spills out before I can suck the words back in.

When ego hijacks the moment, I apologize.  That’s not who I want to be.  I don’t ask to have the ugliness overlooked.  I own it.  I learn from it.  I don’t go into guilt or shame, but I do go into humility.  I am human.  I fuck up.

I bless the world because I bless myself.  When my behavior is a blessing to the world, I am blessing myself and then giving away love.  Only the love is real. Love is creation.  Love is extension.

When I see innocence in the person before me, I am giving myself that innocence.  When I look past the ego bullshit to the call for love beneath (which is fear in one form or another), then I am giving myself that same opportunity.  It makes it easier to say, “I’m sorry,” because I don’t have to be right.  I can embrace the humility found in contrition.  I can own whether I have been kind or cruel, coming from Spirit or ego.

I can be a blessing to the world, and in the process be a blessing to myself.

Namaste, my friends, Namaste.





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