Did you remember? Did you remember when you opened your eyes this morning to savor the fact that you were under warm blankets? That you have a roof over your head? That coffee and breakfast were moments away if you so desired? Did you have a loved one close by with whom you are privileged to share your life? Did you stop to allow gratitude to seep into your bones? Fill up your heart? Spill through your eyes? Stop to let the truth of who and what you are reverberate through you?
Let it in. Let it in.
I am grateful to know the truth of who and what I am. Grateful that no one else’s perception or distortion can strip me of that truth. “In my defenselessness my safety lies.” Grateful to have these lessons from A Course in Miracles to keep me grounded and sane. Grateful that I cannot and will not be defined by anything other than that by which I allow myself to be defined.
And yes, it feels crappy when another person fails to recognize how awesome I am. But my answer is always love.
“Light does not attack darkness, but it does shine it away. If my light goes with your everywhere, you shine it away with me. The light becomes ours, and you cannot abide in darkness any more than darkness can abide wherever you go. The remembrance of me is the remembrance of yourself, and of Him Who sent me to you.”
Today, I am grateful that I cannot be threatened. I mean, I can of course. But not really. I can however be strengthened by that which sought to destroy me. Because nothing outside of me can change what is inside of me unless I allow it to. Not loss of a job, or a friend, or anything.
Years ago, I had an employee who was a drug addict. As a teenager he had had an accident which left him with extreme back pain and his mother sued the people who owned the property where it happened and got a hefty settlement. He became addicted to pain meds and when he had an accident on the job and failed his drug test, his addiction came to my attention.
My reaction was to see how I could help him. His reaction was to see how he could set me up to sue me so that he could walk away with cash and keep his addiction. This is when I learned a few hard lessons. 1). Never touch another human being without their permission, even if it is with extreme gentleness and love. 2). Never allow yourself to be isolated with another person with whom you are in conflict. 3). Taped conversations are admissible in New Mexico court even when only one party is aware the conversation is being taped, even when the tape has been selectively edited to make innocence seem damning. 4). If someone starts screaming, “Stop hitting me” when you are not hitting them, do not try to defend yourself. Do not engage.
Walk out of the room.
In the end, my lawyer advises me to settle for some cash (the insurance company paid it), to allow him to collect undeserved unemployment, to stay away from him and to allow the incident to be dismissed. The part of me that wanted to be right was not a happy camper. I let it go. I mentally sent him love. A couple of years later, I ran into him at a convenience store and he apologized profusely for what he had done to me. It is the best I could get, I suppose.
The desire to prove oneself right in the face of false allegations is tough to relinquish. It incites fear. It incites the urge to defend even though there is nothing to defend. But I have an indomitable faith in God. I know that whatever is happening is good because I am supported even when circumstances suggest otherwise. No one can change the truth of who and what I am.
So today, I remember to celebrate in gratitude. I have a warm bed, a roof over my head, food in the house, a loving husband and lots and lots of friends who know who I am. And for that, I am extremely grateful.